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Autism and Gender Identity Explained

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Growing up, I never managed to feel a connection between my sex and identity. I knew that I was assigned female at birth but aside from that, I didn't associate gender with how I viewed myself. I never engaged in any form of strict gendered play, preferring to spend my time alone and acting out scenes from Harry Potter than playing with dolls with the girls or football with the boys.

My eccentricity as a child was often put down to awkwardness and general quirkiness and whilst my autistic traits were apparent, it went years before I was officially diagnosed. The difference between how autism presents in female-bodied people and male-bodied people is very different and is shown when looking at the difference of diagnosis' before the age of 11. The National Autistic Society carried out a survey that revealed only a fifth of girls were diagnosed with autism before the age of 11.

Now, in the wake of gender-diversity and more understanding surrounding different gender identities and sexualities, more individuals with autism are coming out as LGBT.

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Gender diversity and autism

Recent studies into the connection between gender-diversity and autism has revealed that people with autism are more likely to be gender-diverse than cisgender people. Gender-diversity is the umbrella term used to describe gender expression that may be different from the binary male/female. People on the autism spectrum are shown to be less influenced by the societal expectation that you must act according to your sex. This could be the reason why people with autism are more readily accepting of the way that they view their gender identity or how they want to present it.

Whilst there have been limited studies done into the relationship between gender identity and autism, it has become apparent that the number of people who identify as gender-diverse also report having some of the traits associated with autism. These traits include, sensory sensitivities, difficulties with social skills and pattern-recognition skills. They are also five times more likely to suspect that they have undiagnosed autism than cisgender people.

People on the autism spectrum whose gender expression (how you dress or act in accordance to your gender identity), is different to the sex that they were assigned at birth, may be doing so for sensory issues. Some individuals with autism, like myself, who have high sensory needs may find that wearing masculine clothing suits those needs whilst also creating a sense of gender euphoria.

Are there more than two genders?

There has been a lot of controversy around the idea that someone can be something outside of the binary. While transgender people are becoming more openly accepted, other gender identities such as non-binary, gender-fluid or agender are still misunderstood by many. For many individuals like myself, who have never felt a connection to being a binary male or female, have found that labels such as non-binary help explain how they feel towards their own body.

I often feel uncomfortable when people try and associate me with being either male or female. Gender has always been something that has alluded me and my gender identity reflects that, whilst I use male pronouns (he/him), I don't strictly feel like a binary male. My choice in pronouns is to make other people feel comfortable using them, otherwise I would use alternative pronouns such as they/them. No one can truly say whether there or not there are multiple genders as gender is how any one person perceives themselves. It took me years to figure out my own gender identity and I flitted between identifying as a cisgender woman, a transgender man and finally, non-binary. I have only become comfortable with identifying as non-binary in the past few years as I have grown to accept that I don't feel the same attachment to gender as some neurotypical people feel.

My child says that they are transgender. What should I do?

The best thing a parent can do if their child has started questioning their gender identity is to support it fully. While it may be confusing and stressful initially, having the full support of a parent can help reduce the risk of self-harm and unsafe behaviours in your child. You may think that it's a phase or your child seeking comfort in finding an alternative to explain how they feel but ultimately, no one apart from your child will know how they feel.

Teenage years are a difficult time for the best of us and being neurodiverse or having autistic traits makes growing up that little bit harder and exploring gender identity may help your child understand how they feel about themselves. Allowing your child to explore their gender expression through different pronouns, names and clothing without pressure or prejudice will help them feel comfortable talking to you about how they feel.

Sometimes, a child exploring their identity may be doing so to identify their place in the world. When this happens, the individual is searching for something that sets them apart from others. With individuals with autism, this could present in a sense of urgency to transition both socially and medically without sitting back and thinking about the long-term effects of transitioning has.

The only way that you can fully support your child who does identify as gender-diverse is to offer them support through everything. This could mean taking them to doctors appointments when they're older, using their preferred name and pronouns but also respecting their decision if they decide that they aren't gender-diverse.

About the author: Alfie Pritchard

Experience/ Career: I am currently a freelance writer whilst I study towards a master's degree in creative Writing

My Passion: I love to draw on my own experiences in life and to educate in areas such as, autism, mental health, and gender identity. I am also a poet working towards publishing my first collection.

Life goals: I only have two goals for my life that I deem achievable, having a poetry collection on the shelf in waterstones and owning a dog!

Best achievement in life so far: Graduating University with a 2:1 when I was struggling with health issues.

Favourite book: If We Were Villians – M.I. Rio or The Secret History – Donna Tartt

Best Lockdown moment: Holding a mini Glastonbury and camping in our garden in the middle of summer.

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